Category: reflection

You Have the Power to be Better!

Have you noticed how many self-improvement blogs are out there? How many promise to have the answers to our low self-esteem? 8 steps to your happiness. 6 tips on how to have a high self-esteem, etc. The problem with that is that there is no one cure. The only person who can make a difference in your life is “YOU“. I don’t want to add to those types of articles. images (2)I just want to let you know that you can think better of yourself, feel better about who you are, and no longer be afraid to shine in front of others. I was there myself and it took for me to get to the worst place of my life in order for me to make the most important decision I have ever made. That is to understand who I am and how my purpose on this earth is meant to be used.

I am not telling you that I have the answer but in order for any change to transpire in our lives, we have to make a choice or decision. Do I want to be like this for the rest of my life? Not all are born with high self-esteem and we all get that. But no matter the circumstance or situation you find yourself in, you have the power to get yourself out. For some, it may take days, others months, and still others years but we all have the ability to transform ourselves into someone that others, including ourselves, want to be around.

images (1)In sociology and psychology, self–esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. The dictionary defines self-worth as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.” However, there are many ways for a person to value themselves and assess their worth as a human being, and some of these are more psychologically beneficial than others. In other words, our worth is determined by how we feel about ourselves.

I wasn’t always the person I am today. I struggled greatly to communicate with others, be self-confident, and to at least make an effort to change my circumstances. I haven’t fully succeeded but I am on my way and that decision has been the best. The decisions I made to get to where I am now, were to some simple, to others childlike, and to others possibly insignificant. That’s the beauty of self-improvement, you get to make the decisions that will allow YOU to succeed not others. You have to also let go of all types of comparisons. Comparing yourself to others just leads to continuous disappointments. You are unique and you will need to learn to embrace that uniqueness. And one last thing, success is how you perceive it to be not what others think it should be.

The key is to accept the fact that there’s no such thing as a perfect life.  There’s no perfect thing you should have already accomplished, and no perfect sequence of things you should be accomplishing right now.

stencil.instagram-post-2There’s just this moment you’re living through and what you choose to do with it.

I chose to make changes within me. That helped me to be in charge of my own outcome. I didn’t make huge changes. I made simple changes. I altered how I thought of myself by rewarding myself every time something went well. I didn’t dwell on the things I was doing wrong. I started helping others as if helping myself. I started to read more and just write down my thoughts about the day. Most importantly, I started just focussing on the here and now instead of the future or the past. This was probably my great breakthrough.

Now, I enjoy who I have become and others do as well.

Both Sides of the Coin

e2b3f55af79c68411ce59d5577275aec--a-new-beginning-new-beginning-quotes-fresh-startWhen thinking about new beginnings, what comes to your mind? For some, a time frame such as new years, or an event such as a new job, new family, new relationship, etc. The importance of new beginnings is that it can be started at any time and any moment you feel you need a fresh start. The flip side to that is that is can also be difficult and lonely during the process.

One thing that makes it so difficult to start something new is that we don’t really know where to start. Yes, of course, the possibilities are endless. They are infinite, in fact. But that is part of what makes it so difficult to begin. Because where should you begin when you can begin anywhere? In the face of all that possibility, all that blank space, it is easy to feel a little intimidated.

And I suppose that’s a reason new beginnings can be a little challenging because, in addition to the fact that there are multiple ways we could begin, there are also multiple ways the story could end. We do not always get to choose our endings. In fact, most of the time we don’t. We commit ourselves to the process without any guarantee of how things will turn out. This is the great risk of living our lives: there are so many things we don’t get to choose.

At the beginning of a new year, or a new relationship, or a new job, or a new season, I think we intuitively recognize this: that no matter how many good intentions we have to lose weight or eat better or be more vulnerable or change that bad habit or pattern, or re-write a part of our story we haven’t loved, that we ultimately are not in charge of every detail, and we are at the mercy of so many things over which we have no control.

imagesIn the midst of the difficult choices of new beginnings, the one thing that keeps us afloat is a simple four letter word,”HOPE” In defining hope – to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment, we see the answer to what can make a new beginning difficult can also make it promising.  We venture into this new process with the anticipation of meeting with good and exciting adventures and with an expectation of being fulfilled.

So whether your new beginnings are for the better or not, remember that change is never welcomed by most but you can at least look forward to something new and exciting.

Have an awesome day!

Life in all it’s Splendor

Doesn’t it seem that when things are going badly they end up getting worse and the closest to a resolution you have isn’t even a resolution but seems to add more oxygen to the fire? Many times we go through these different stages in our lives where we end up wishing we were non-existent or swallowed by the earth.

We all go through this syndrome but the big difference is how you come out on the other side. It is natural to feel overwhelmed and unnoticed when going through a tough situation. Many times you feel like you’re the only person on this earth. The bible has some interesting ways of looking at our situations.

jesusconquersFor instance, in John 16:33 it says,”I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have[perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]”

This alone gives us the strength to continues to keep going because we know that Jesus already conquered our troubles, problems, situations, and any circumstances that may seem overwhelming. In Romans 8:28,31,37-39, He says,”And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” and,”What then shall we say to all these things? If God is for us, who can be [successful] against us?” and, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors and gain an overwhelming victory through Him who loved us [so much that He died for us].For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced–beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This is great news because it means that we are not alone and that we have already been given the out of our situations no matter how rough, hard, or troublesome. Jesus has provided the resolution to our desolation.

I am not saying that it will be easy or that it will be a breeze but what I am saying is that we no longer have to suffer as deep or as long as we would have without Jesus Christ.

Journey – Day 2

These segments are going to be done one every two weeks or once a month. In the last post, I talked about how my journey is beginning with the correction or revamping of my leadership. But it seems that’s not where it is going to start after all. Everything we do and say all starts with us. We need to figure out what we are doing, why am I not reaching my potential, and why am I not able to get from where I am to where I want to be?

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Each of us has a journey that only we can make and sometimes that means making it alone. The struggles and situations that will come during this journey no one else can take. But don’t be discouraged because the bible says,”This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 (NLT)” These words of encouragement are very helpful. To understand that He that created you will be with you always is a great way to begin anew.

This journey called life will surprise you in ways you can’t even imagine. Sometimes the people you think would give the most help, will be the first to abandon you in the midst of your trial or situation. But this too is a test because this life was given to you to accomplish what God had purposed for you since before time began. What happens is that we get so caught up in our own self-pity that we forget to let go because we become blinded and don’t know any other way exists. I am, by no means, denying nor belittling the pain and anguish and the embarrassment and fear of the opinions of others when we come to realize the error of our ways, but if we analyze it correctly, we can make this realization a fresh new start, a beginning of what can ultimately be our grand entrance to a new life and a new you.

loneliness11This came to mind when I reflected on my own situation and wondered why am I still not moving forward. “The choices we make in our personal lives will inherently affect the choices we make in every other aspect of our lives.” This was more true for me than I liked to admit. The personal choices I had made throughout my life have definitely affected the other areas of my life. When I look back to the moment I became an adult to this moment the two areas that consistently show up as my negatives, apart from others, are procrastination and lack of a sense of urgency. To admit that I lack certain integral traits that would make me more successful in life, in ministry, and in general is no easy task and even worse to admit it to the public is even more terrifying. But when you get to a point where the only place to look at is up, nothing makes you more free and open.
As much as it hurts and as embarrassing as it is, when you are honest with yourself, there is a sense of freedom that is unexplainable. Self analyzation is one of the hardest must do you will ever have to undertake but a necessary one. Since early on we’ve been taught to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, self-everything but we will never see the errors of our ways if we keep thinking that way. Someone else has to evaluate our performance in order for us to truly know how we are doing.
What are you struggling with in your life that is hindering your growth potential? Can you be open enough to admit these lacking traits? Do you have someone who can be honest with you?